Freedom Within

Getting in the groove...

Well we've been here 3 and a half weeks, and I just now feel like I have the time and energy to sit down and write about what's happening. It has been a whirlwind, but we are finally starting to feel somewhat settled!

The flight here was a piece of cake. We were hoping for the airplane with the cool individual video screens on the backs of the seats, but didn't get it. The kids were disappointed, but it ended up working to our advantage because they slept almost the entire time instead of being distracted by movies. We had a little bit of a stressful moment at the airport in Germany because we didn't know where to go and ended up walking all over the huge airport with tired grumpy kids (and parents) before we finally found our gate... only to discover that it had been moved... and had to walk all the way back. It could have been so much worse.

We were warmly greeted at the Prague airport by Jim, Cindy, and Tomas and brought back to Jim and Cindy's house to spend the first few days. It took us at least a week to get over jet lag.. Eleanor and I had it the worst. We both woke up every night at about 1:00 and couldn't go back to sleep for a few hours. Luckily we had each other for company, so it ended up being kind of a sweet time together in the middle of the night. :) Henry got a stomach bug on the third day and threw up 4 times while we were trying to move into our temporary apartment. It's only the second time he's thrown up in his whole life. It was sad, but the Lord was good to heal him so quickly and protect the rest of us from getting it.

Our temporary apartment was in the same building as our permanent one, but with only one bedroom. We were hoping it would only be a few days, but it ended up being 2 weeks. It was very cramped, but definitely made us thankful for our spacious three bedroom that we're in now! We spent those two weeks really just trying to figure out how life works in Prague. We found the grocery store, the tram and bus stops, the metro, the bank, the park, etc. We are in a great location and can walk to any of those things in less than 10 minutes. We figure out really quickly that Czech children are extremely well behaved and quiet. Even at the park they don't really yell. Our kids stick out like sore thumb because they ARE very loud. Everything is so exciting to them and they just can't contain it! We are really fighting to control the urge to quiet them out of embarrassment instead of just letting them enjoy their surroundings. It's really hard! There are all kinds of cultural norms for children that we are constantly breaking. I think we probably gave Jim and Cindy's neighbor a heart attack when Eleanor and Henry ran outside to greet them in bare feet. If little girls sit on the ground or come outside with no shoes then they will surely become infertile. Oops! They are never bundled up as much as the other kids and are constantly taking off their coats and hats because they are hot. So far I've never seen a Czech kid take off his hat outside. They are loud and crazy and excited on the tram and metro. The other kids just sit quietly in their seat. :) Once, Henry said loudly in the middle of a crowded but silent bus.... "Daddy, did you hear that toot I just did???" At least probably no one understood him. The bottoms of your shoes are considered really gross, so to put your feet on a seat or accidentally touch someone with your shoe (like while crossing your legs if you're sitting across from them) is incredibly rude. So we're trying to teach them to watch where they put their feet and take their shoes off when they go in anyone's house. We also live on the fourth floor with all wood floors, so every time they run and jump it's really loud. We sound like a herd of elephants coming up the stairs, and Henry running with his cowboy boots and horse feels like an earthquake....

All this to say, after a few weeks we really started to feel the stress of all of these expectations we had on our kids and ourselves. We literally had no place to go where we didn't feel stressed out. Even at home we were constantly tense because of the noise. So we just decided to let them be loud. We call Henry "hop a long henry" because he hops everywhere. He can't control it. We like that. We don't want to make our kids hate this place because we immediately expect them to change. So hopefully we aren't making any enemies in the building. So far, so good.

The grocery store is by far the most challenging thing for me so far. I'm actually really happy with what I've been able to find there (although finding it can be tough since everything is written in Czech, obviously). The stressful part is the planning, paying, and carrying it home. Planning is so different than what I'm used to. In America, I would shop once a week. I was used to always having a semi full fridge and pantry. I would get kind of panicky when things would start to run out. Here, I have to shop every other day or so. I can only buy what I can carry and lug up four flights of stairs. Everything comes in tiny containers (which is good because it's easier to carry) but it runs out really fast. Pretty much every time I'm out, it's a good idea to run to the store and get a few things. At home, I would be wasting a trip to the store to just buy one or two things. Here, I'm wasting a trip out if I don't pick up a few things. So the planning is different. I plan for maybe 2 days meals... sometimes just one. It's kind of nice in some ways because I don't like planning for a whole week, and then a lot of times something will change with our schedule and food will be wasted... we don't waste anything around here! And they really don't have any convenience food. Hardly anything pre packaged or frozen. I know it's healthier, but it's you know... not as convenient... when I don't feel like going to the store or cooking. I am pretty lazy. I don't like to have to work... I like to work when I feel like it. God has been showing me that lately. And also reminding me that He will help me... and He has been.

The paying is just plain stressful. It's super crowded. There are no baggers. You bring your own bags and try your best to shove everything in them as fast as you can before she finishes scanning.... that's REALLY hard! Because she doesn't wait. Everyone stares while I fumble around with money I don't quite understand, and as soon as I pay she starts scanning the next person's items... even if mine are still there! There are tricks, and I am learning them (Cindy has been so helpful!)... but some days I just do everything wrong. Usually when the kids are with me I get distracted and forget all of the rules. The kids like the grocery store because they get a balloon, sucker, and a piece of candy from the check out lady almost every time.

I can't believe I wrote that much about the grocery store. :/

We really like our team. When we first me the Polish staff, I was worried that they would feel really foreign. But they didn't. Honestly, they felt like old friends. It has been so fun to spend time with them. Ella and Kuba have been married less than a year and are so cute. You can tell they are so in love. :) Ella loves to cook and Kuba is an excellent piano player. They're both super smart... Ella was at the top of her class in college and has a degree to be a Pharmacist. Kuba is really interested in history. Martin and Aneta are about our age and have a 3 year old (Matylda) and a one year old (Kornel). Martin is really funny and outgoing. He has a really amazing story, and actually accepted Christ in college after coming to a viewing of The Jesus Film in his dorm. Aneta is really pretty and fun. She likes to remind me that she is not the typical mom. She doesn't like to cook, and she really wants to be as involved in ministry as she can be. Even though she isn't "typical" I can tell she's a really great mom to Matylda and Kornel.

Jim and Cindy are also really great. It is so easy to see how much they love Czech people. I think their hearts literally break for the lostness around them. They are great encouragers and have really welcomed us with open arms.

Tomas and Jovanka are Czech and have four kids. That is very unusual here... most have one child and a few have two. Tomas works in the administrative side of ministry and Jovanka works with students when she has time. Henry has a little crush on Jovanka and always wants to talk about his guns with her. :)

Here is a picture of our team (minus Aneta, Matylda, and Kornel... they were sick)

that's Jim, Jovanka, Cindy, Ella, Kuba, us, and Martin.

There are several Athletes in Action (part of Campus Crusade for Christ) staff here too. Kelsey plays basketball on a Czech national team, Jenny runs track, Zach coaches football, and Billy who is married with kids teaches at the Sports university. So we have plenty of opportunities to watch sporting events!

Collin has just started to really get a feel for what ministry will look like in the last few days. It looks like the majority of his time on campus will be with the English classes. This semester he will participate with the intent of establishing and building relationships with students. He's been to two classes so far and has already gotten to share his faith and been invited to lunch with a new friend, Daniel. Next semester he will begin teaching a few of the classes (there are 17 every week!) He will also be doing one on one English lessons... the guy that heads the class will be filtering students who seem to be interested in spiritual things and sending them to Collin to meet with individually.

I am hoping to be able to host a girls night at our home... plans are still in the works. I also really feel like part of my ministry here is with other moms. We are at the playground almost every day and I usually see the same few women. The Lord has impressed it on me that they are part of why I am here. I don't know what that means though!

Homeschooling is going pretty well. We officially started on monday. It was a rough day. Eleanor is super smart and loves to learn.... but hates it when she doesn't "get it" right away. Handwriting is that thing that just doesn't come as naturally to her. We both got frustrated and ended up crying. Great first day!! It has gotten better each day. We do handwriting first and get it over with. And we pray before we start that we won't get frustrated!

Well this is super long and there is so much more that I could say. Overall, we are doing well. We know that this is where we are supposed to be, but can't say that we have a clue why. Maybe we never will... who knows! The kids are doing miraculously well. They aren't sad at all. Sorry grandparents!! It's really weird, but they just seem to always be happy to be here. Their attitudes are much better than ours pretty much all of the time. We are so thankful for them. We've had our sad moments (mostly at night) when we miss home and everything familiar, but mostly we feel content here. We're fighting to stay close to Jesus. It has been a fight. We're busy and tired... but this would all be pointless if we didn't walk with Him. So if you pray for us, pray for that. The rest will fall into place.

Love, the Arledge family

the view from our kitchen window (the inner courtyard)

Henry refusing to cooperate

Skype shoot- out with Grampa

Zach's team... the Prague Lions

View from our apartment (a little coffee shop on the corner)

front door of our building

Playground in our neighborhood

An update...finally, after 2 years!

First of all, it's embarrassing how long it has been since I last blogged... almost two years! One of these days I'll get around to changing those pictures at the top. Or maybe not, because those babies are really cute... even if they look nothing like our big kids now. :)

So things have changed quite a bit in the last two years. More recently in the last 6 months. I'll give the short version right now and if you want the long version you can keep reading. So for those who aren't interested in the details:

In march we decided to move to Zambia, Africa for at least a year (still with Campus Crusade for Christ) to work with an orphanage and do discipleship training for the national staff. Just last week we found out that the team would not be going. A few days later we decided to move to Prague, Czech Republic instead! So we're leaving either the last week in September or October 1st.

Now for those of you who want the story:

God began this process of leading us overseas about a year and a half ago. We had always talked about being "willing" to go anywhere if we felt called by God. But slowly we began feeling ourselves growing more and more attached to Lubbock... and less and less willing to even listen to what God wanted us to do. I'm not saying it's bad to be attached to our family, our friends, our home, our church, our ministry, etc. But I was beginning to love those things so much that I was not even willing to consider that God might have a different plan. And God started bringing that reality to the surface... the reality that I was no longer willing. That I had taken hold of my life and declared it mine. For several months I wrestled with God about that. And I didn't tell Collin because I was afraid of what would happen! And I should have been afraid, because when I finally did tell him, he told me that he had been doing the same thing.

So we started to talk about it together and sought some council from good friends and family. We knew that God was doing something in our hearts, but we didn't know the specifics. We decided the next step would be to take the Perspectives course. So a few months later we signed up and began a 15 week journey into God's heart for the lost. I can't even begin to put into words what a difference that class made in our perspective of God and his purpose for us. After 15 weeks we really started to believe that God wanted us to be "goers". We just didn't know where or when.

We started looking into different locations with our regional leadership, but nothing really seemed right for some reason. It's hard to put it into words, but as we prayed, we just didn't sense a green light from God about those places. So several more months pass and we begin listening to a sermon series by David Platt. This time we took a journey into God's heart for the poor. And what we found changed our lives. We couldn't believe how much of the Bible we had skipped over or misinterpreted through our American lenses. We are rich. And God has a lot to say about the poor, money, and the rich. So, for several more months we wrestled with God about what that meant for our lives. What did it look like to fully surrender our money to Him? Where had we been disobedient in caring for the poor? In the middle of those questions, we came across the opportunity to go to Zambia. As usual, right when we learn something new, God brought us an opportunity to put our knowledge into practice... to make it more than just something we talk about.

As we prayed about Zambia, we sensed that "green light" that we didn't get when we prayed about the other places. But it took a lot more than that for me to actually commit to going. I am an overprotective, worried, controlling Mama... and taking our two babies to Africa did not sound like an adventure. There is malaria, and cholera, and crime... and there are no American hospitals or water without nasty parasites or car seats. No Grama or Grampa, Grammy or Grandaddy, cousins, friends, or anyone we know. This wrestling match was ugly. There were lots of tears. And there was tenderness from my Father, who reminded me over and over and over and over that He loves me... that He loves Eleanor and Henry more than I do. That not a hair falls from their head without Him knowing... without Him allowing it. And that He is good. No matter what happens to us or to them... He is good. Bad things happen in the U.S. all the time. He is good. Bad things could happen there. He is good. He is the giver of peace and comfort and joy even when my circumstances are crazy. And we are living for so much more than this life. In march, we committed to leaving for Zambia in September... and we were excited! God did a mighty work in my heart to get me to that point and I credit it to no one and nothing but Him. I can really say with confidence that a miracle took place in my living room the day that I said yes to moving to Africa. Nothing is impossible with God. :)

So we finished up our semester at Texas Tech, had a massive garage sale, packed up our stuff, rented out our house, said goodbye to our amazing friends and church, and moved out in July. We had to raise $25,000 and God provided. He always does. Not more, not less, but just exactly what we needed. We got our shots. It cost a fortune, but was not traumatic. Another miracle! Usually when Eleanor gets a shot she likes to recreate scenes from the exorcist... this time she kept the freak out to a minimum. First time ever. See, God loves Eleanor. In so many ways I saw God calming her anxious heart. She has never been thrilled with the idea of moving to Africa. She likes it here. She doesn't know if she will like it there, so she would rather stay. I can't blame her. She was worried that she wouldn't have any friends. So we prayed that God would give her a friend. I asked her if she believed that He would.... she said yes, but she really wanted to see her friend's face. That night I found the blog of a missionary in Lusaka, the city we would be living. She had a daughter Eleanor's age. I emailed her, she responded, and in the morning Eleanor saw a picture of her new friend, Greyson. He loves her.

Now the story goes haywire. Our team starts dropping like flies. What was originally three guys, three girl, and our family becomes two guys, one girl, and us.... and they are behind on the deadlines for raising their money. At one of our trainings in Colorado at the end of July we learn that if the rest of the team doesn't make it, they will not send us alone. We had never even considered the possibility of that happening. So we went back to my parents house in Houston having no idea what would happen. So we waited... and waited.... and waited. We didn't hear anything for weeks. I had a few breakdowns, but mostly we still had peace. Another miracle! August 12, we headed to Chicago for Stint briefing still having no clue what would happen. We met our team and spent a week worshiping with almost 400 people being sent ALL over the world for the next year. We loved our team and just dove into developing relationships and planning. Rachel and Dave had raised almost all of their support, and it was really amazing how quickly it had come in after being so far behind. So we had a lot of hope and really believed and prayed that God would provide for Mike, who was at about 50%. At the briefing we learned that if Mike wasn't able to go, then the rest of the team would not go because the dynamic (our family, a single guy, and a single girl) of our team would not be healthy. We left Chicago really pleading with God that He would provide for Mike if He wanted our team in Zambia. It was not a matter of how much work Mike put into support raising. He was doing his part... it was completely up to God. And all we could do was wait.

The waiting has been the hardest part of this whole process. And I think in a lot of ways it has been the most important part of this process. We can get ourselves so convinced that what God cares about it the result... what we do, where we go, etc. But what He cares the most about is who we are.... how are we handling the process. He has taught me so much about handling uncertainty. My natural response is to try and figure it out myself. I am the queen of internet research. But google will never tell me if we are going to go to Zambia. Believe me, I tried. He has taught me to come to Him exactly as I am. If I'm feeling stressed out or sad or scared... He reminds me to tell Him about it. I don't have to try and change my emotions because I am not supposed to feel that way. He's in charge of that. I can simply come to Him exactly as I am... and boldly ask Him for peace. And you know what? He gives it freely. It has been the craziest thing to actually experience true peace from the Lord simply because I ask for it. I don't think I've ever experienced it like I have in these past weeks. It makes me run to Him. Because nothing else makes me feel better. When I'm freaking out over rabies shots and malaria and feeling like the worst. mother. ever. for not even telling her kids that we might not be going to Africa... He is the only one that brings relief. All I have to do is ask. Crazy.

In the last few months we've also gotten a lot more intentional about listening when we pray. I know it sounds silly, but most of the time when I pray I do all of the talking. It's hard for me to listen. I wasn't sure how to listen or what to listen for. The next week one of our supporters gave us a DVD series, and one of them was specifically about listening to God. So we started really listening. And what we heard surprised us. It was two and a half weeks before we were supposed to leave, and the day before we were supposed to re-evaluate the deadlines based on where Mike was with his support. We heard that we were not supposed to go to Zambia. Really, Collin heard that we were not supposed to go to Zambia. I woke up in the middle of the night with a VERY anxious spirit and a sudden realization that I had missed the deadline to get the rabies shot series. Remember me... controlling, overbearing, anything health related freak? I don't do that. It was weird. And I certainly don't wake up at two in the morning suddenly remembering dates and thinking coherently. That morning we decide that we have to call it off no matter where Mike is with his support. We were so nervous. We prayed so hard before the phone call... that God would not allow us to say anything that we were not supposed to say, and that Larry, the guy in charge, would be in total agreement. We told him the story. Larry said he also woke up at two in the morning with an overwhelming sense that the team was not supposed to go. And Mike was still at 50%.

We had absolutely no clue what that meant for our family. We had no other options in mind. None. So we took the weekend to just relax and enjoy our family without thinking. I know that sounds weird, but it's what we needed. Then on Monday we started praying and talking with people in our region about our next steps. We were praying and listening... trying to figure out what God wanted us to do. We got a list of about a million (more like 10, but it felt like a million) countries that were options. Lots of them had been ruled out because of Visa issues. In many countries the only way you can get a visa is if you are a student, and we had missed the chance to apply for a visa because school had already started. We still felt like we had no clue. When we were told about Prague, it was literally in a breathe... mixed in with other countries and possibilities. We didn't give it a second thought. You're going to know what a geographical idiot I am when I tell you this, but I had no idea where it even was. Our options really boiled down to the Ivory Coast, Costa Rica, and Berlin. We kept praying about those and never heard anything from God. Then on tuesday morning we woke up to an email from the national director of the Czech Republic.... asking us about Prague. He reminded us of Acts 16 where Paul is redirected by the Holy Spirit:

And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. ⁷And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. ⁸So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. ⁹And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." ¹⁰And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.

We set up a time to talk to he and his wife that day, and they told us about the great need in Prague. They said that they had been praying for many years for a team to labor with them in one of the least religious countries in the entire world. A team was just beginning to form with Jim, his wife Cindy, four Polish staff, and two stinters arriving in January. And they really felt like we were the missing pieces. Here is a summary from Wikipedia about the religious climate in the Czech Republic:

Religion

Top religious affiliations in the Czech Republic, census 1991–2001^[43]

	1991		2001		change
	number	%	number	%
Roman Catholic Church	4,021,385	39.0	2,740,780	26.8	−31.8%
Evangelical Church of Czech Brethren	203,996	2.0	117,212	1.1	−42.5%
Czechoslovak Hussite Church	178,036	1.7	99,103	1.0	−44.3%
no religion	4,112,864	39.9	6,039,991	59.0	+46.9%
not identified	1,665,617	16.2	901,981	8.8	−45.8%
total population	10,302,215	100.0	10,230,060	100.0	−0.7%

The Czech Republic, along with Estonia, has one of the least religious populations in the world. Historically, the Czech people have been characterised as "tolerant and even indifferent towards religion".^[44] According to the 2001 census, 59% of the country is agnostic, atheist ornon-believer, 26.8% is Roman Catholic and 2.5% is Protestant.^[45] According to the census, the fastest growing belief system during the intercensal period between 1991 and 2001 was that of those with no religion, which increased by 19.1 percent. Christianity showed negative growth, especially the Roman Catholic Church which lost more than 1 million of its members in 10 years. The largest population increase was No-religion which increased by nearly 2 million people.

It would be a completely different ministry than what we had planned for Zambia. Completely. Because there are so few believers, our ministry will be almost entirely focused on non believers. So far there has not been much response to the Gospel. Students generally give little to no thought about God, and don't believe that He exists. The ground is hard, and we will be doing a lot of sowing with probably very little reaping. But the best way that I can describe that conversation and the way that we felt the following days is complete joy. God had answered our prayer for direction. And He confirmed it mightily by the joy and peace and excitement that we felt in our hearts. So the next day, after much prayer and lots of silence, just listening, we said "yes" to going to Prague. We don't know why God decided to bring us down the crazy path that He did. But we do know that He cares about this process. It wasn't an accident. And we are thankful for it. We know that Prague will have its share of difficulties, and we aren't naively excited thinking that it will be a great vacation. But for now we are celebrating what the Lord has done. We are thankful that He answers prayer. We are confident that He is leading us. And where he leads we will joyfully follow...

And we did tell the kids. For a while we considered just letting them believe that the Czech Republic was Africa.... they would never know the difference. They are very excited about the snow and the trains. Henry calls it Frog. :)

Eleanor the Theologian

I had another profound conversation with Eleanor today. I thought it was really cute. Last week, out of the blue, she asked “if Jesus is in our hearts, who is in Jesus’ heart?” I thought that was such a profound question! Collin told her that God was in Jesus’ heart. She was satisfied with that answer and didn’t bring it up again until today. We were driving home from Walmart and she just again randomly started this conversation:

Eleanor: Who is in God’s heart?

Me: Um…I’m not sure.

Eleanor: I think Jesus. Is Jesus in my heart?

Me: Well, someday when you’re a little older and can understand who Jesus is and what he has done for you, I hope you will ask him to come into your heart.

Eleanor: Yes! Maybe we should start building a door.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will eat with him, and he with me. “ Revelation 3:20

Tagged by Jenny

So I'm supposed to list 7 random things about myself that few people know because I was tagged by my friend Jenny. So here goes!

1. I love the smell of stinky baby feet. You may think that baby feet can't smell that bad...you would be wrong. Henry's cute little New Balance shoes smell worse than his Daddy's after a day of running around in them with no socks. For some reason I love to grab those hot, sweaty, stinky feet, put my nose right on them and take a big wiff. I know, I'm weird. I really do love it.

2. I am obsessed with scrapbook paper. I don't actually use it for scrapbooking, but I just love to look at it. Something about finding such unique, pretty designs on paper and then just staring at it...it makes me happy. It makes me so happy that I have tons of scrapbook paper framed on my walls. Someday I will take some pictures of it, because it actually looks really pretty.

3. I hate collar bones. Collin can send me into a panicked convulsion just by talking about grabbing my collar bone. For some reason it just seems so fragile...and gross. I'm cringing right now. I also hate adam's apples. I'm glad I don't have one.

4. My last semester of college I interned with the FBI. I would tell you about it, but I would have to kill you.

5. I have this weird habit of "typing" everything (and I mean everything) that I hear with my fingers as I'm listening...and sometimes even as I'm just thinking. I catch myself doing it all the time...I don't actually put my hands out like on an imaginary keyboard or anything. But I do use the right fingers for the right letters...and even space. I'm so embarrassed right now.

6. I can burp really loud. I've learned to have better manners since marrying Collin. It grosses him out.

7. I love to draw. I got pretty good at it and even gave several of my drawings away as gifts. I haven't done it in years, but want to pick it back up. I would really love to take an art class.

I'm tagging Shannon, Mindy, Laci, Ashley, Erin, and Kirby!

Imitation is the sincerest form of...are they mocking us??

I don't know whether to be flattered or frightened by the fact that students actually dressed up as us for Halloween.

Sorority girl and Frat boy. The official uniform...Ugg boots, Nike shorts, plain white v-neck t-shirt, NorthFace jacket, pearl earrings...you'll see a few hundred exact replicas on any given day walking around campus. I kind of think it's cute.
Eleanor and Ginger at Greek Treat

It was a fun day, complete with wild dancing and candy induced stomach aches. Happy Halloween!!

Flying High

Please don't call CPS.

A Big Question

Today I decided to ask Eleanor (purely hypothetical) what she thought about us having more children. I was really just curious, because she does have an opinion about just about anything I ask her. The conversation went like this:

Me: Eleanor, do you think Mommy and Daddy should have any more babies?

Eleanor: Yes! We should go to the hospital right now and look at the babies in the window!

Me: Well, not like that. I mean, do you want to have another baby in the family...like instead of it being just you, Henry, me, and Daddy...it would be you, Henry, me, Daddy, and another baby....all of the time.

Eleanor: I think we should have another baby in the family. I like babies.

Me: Well, it wouldn't always be a baby. It would grow up, just like Henry and you.

Eleanor: I want one of those that just always stays a baby.

Me: They don't make those.

Eleanor: I don't want another baby.

Me: Why?

Eleanor: It might grow big.

For Grampa.

Jumping off the fireplace

"But, I just don't want to go to bed!!!"

Welcome to the Dark Side

After all of the sweet innocent stories that I tell about Eleanor, I feel like it's time for a different kind of story. This one did not make me smile or ponder spiritual things. Only now, a day later, am I somewhat amused by how ridiculously awful she was yesterday. Eleanor is a passionate girl. She loves passionately and rebels furiously. She is the definition of a strong willed child. She's a feisty one! You'll get the idea....

Eleanor: Mommy, can I have macaroni and cheese for lunch?

Me: I'm sorry, I don't have time to make that today. Would you like peanut butter and jelly?

Eleanor: (After a massive rolling around on the floor screaming tantrum) No...you WILL make me macaroni and cheese.

Me: Excuse me? I think you need to go to your room.

Eleanor: (Loudly, and looking straight into my eyes) NO, MAMA! I will NOT go to my room. And you will NOT spank me!!!!!

I drug her into her room and closed the door so that I could calm down before going in to talk to her. She screamed like a possessed child for the next 15 minutes while I called Collin and told him he was going to have to spank her because I was too mad. After a while I realized the ridiculousness of the situation and managed to get a hold of myself and go in to talk to her. She then proceeded to try to THROW TOYS at me!!!!!! (Where did my sweet girl go?) I left again, pulled myself together,then came back, gave her a good spanking and sent her to bed without any lunch at all. (I told her she could have a sandwich when she woke up from her nap). She was not happy about it, but took a good nap and woke up a much nicer girl.

I am afraid for the teenage years. Seriously.